Change can be hard. Very hard.
Change can feel like chaos and a huge disruption in your life.
And change can also be transformative. Both can be true.
Deepak Chopra says “Every great change is preceded by chaos.” It’s a good reminder to stay the course because something great is coming, so get excited. For what? That’s for you to discover!
Sometimes change is not a choice we would have made if given the opportunity to choose. And sometimes change is the choice we make. When change is not our choice it may feel like things, or you, are “out of control”. The global pandemic which began in 2020 is a perfect example! Not one of us has been a willing participant, right? But the thing we do have control over is how we respond to the changes. Do we fight it or struggle with it? Do we accept it, adapt to it? Sometimes the very thing that changes, the thing that we try to control, or fight to keep the same, has turned into something positive which came as a result of that chaos. Sometimes the change leads to expanded opportunities for personal growth, relationships, or discoveries you may never have made if this change had not happened.
Out of the pandemic chaos I found ways to connect to family who live far away in ways I was not previously doing which helped us to be more closely connected. I grew closer to my community as a result of its efforts to support one another and, from that, it helped me to meet some dear people I have developed beautiful friendships with.
Out of the chaos came my earnest efforts to connect more deeply and spiritually with nature and finding my greatest support for my mental health and well-being. This led me on a path of studying eco-psychology and forest bathing which I now offer through nature-based mindfulness retreats. Being in stillness and coming into coherence with nature’s vibrations have also led me on a path to study sound healing, another vibrational forces to bring mind and body into balance through the the vibrations of crystal singing bowls at various healing frequencies. I am excited to utilize my new learnings for my own healing and to support my own self-care practices, as well as for sharing with you in the coming months.
Additionally, out of the chaos of the pandemic, some chaos within my own home was also stirred up which led to re-evaluating a long term relationship with my partner. When the chaos did not settle, I knew it was time to make a significant change and close that chapter. When the decision was made and we parted, my home became a safe and healing refuge which I am deeply grateful for. Funny – what prevented me from breaking up was the worry of feeling alone, even unhealthy as it was, but once alone I felt at one with all that is good and right in the universe. I was lonelier in the relationship than I was after ending it! This change was exactly what I needed but I resisted it for years!
Of course one change can create a cascade of changes. This change meant other changes too – most notably with my work situation. I have had to return to full time work as a speech-language therapist in the public schools. I thought I had stepped away for good, but as it turns out, it was there, available for me when I needed it. So I am secure with a new job and yet, with all new things, there are changes. Many changes. I have lots of adjusting to do, and I have lots and lots to learn in my new position which has put me well out of my comfort zone.
I’ll be honest – it feels like chaos. But this time, I feel different. I feel fortified and empowered to turn to all the tools and resources and supports I have been teaching about for many years for resilience and well-being through selfcare. Being empowered does not mean it isn’t hard and it doesn’t mean I don’t have my meltdowns of tears and doubts. Change is hard. In fact, it feels like a thousand piece puzzle was dumped on the floor in front of me and I’m supposed to have it all put together in an all-too-short time frame. It feels impossible at the moment. Change is hard. And… I can do hard things. One piece, one choice at a time. I am possible. It is possible. Friedrich Nietzsche said
“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”
I’m looking forward to moving past this chaos and discovering the light and goodness that will eventually shine, and for the beautiful ways I can connect with the children, families, and staff whose lives I will intermingle with at my school, as well as in my life. With patience and persistence my doubts will turn to confidence, my fear will turn to courage, and my worries will settle because everything changes. The chaos will settle. I will be transformed. Discoveries await. I’m excited.
I know many of you are also going through changes and chaos and challenges. I’m excited to have you on this journey with me. Once in a while it’s ok to look back and notice how far you’ve come. Celebrate. And keep moving forward – choosing one step, one puzzle piece at a time. Do what you can.
Continue to learn about taking care of your mind, body, and heart. You can control how you respond to emotions that show up, to the thoughts that persist, and to the situations and people which may feel like chaos and confusion in your life, while also choosing to look at the good that has or will come out of this. Connect to the things and people in life who support you rather than drain you. I’ll be here cheering you on.
Please let me know how I might support you! And feel free to share your discoveries. ~ Dee DiGioia
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